My new puppy checklist (and everything I bought too big)

I crated Spencer. I chased Kashi around the living room for a solid two minutes before I caught him, which is normal for us, and then I stood in my kitchen with a shopping list and realized I was about to become a three-dog person.

A puppy. A girl. Big breed. That was genuinely all I was letting myself say out loud at the time, because I wanted the reveal to be a whole thing, and keeping it in was killing me.

Her name is Ellie.

What actually went on my new puppy checklist

The real list was short. Crate, bed, collar, leash, ID tag, one good toy, puppy pads. Everything else that ended up in my cart was me losing the plot in a store aisle, and we'll get to that.

The crate was the big purchase. I went large because she's going to be a large dog, and it has a divider so I can shrink the inside while she's tiny and open it up as she grows. It also cost more than I was emotionally prepared for. I was nearly $300 in before I had even met her.

The bed was harder. They didn't have her size in the one I always get for the boys, so I took the one she'd grow into and hoped for the best. (This becomes a whole thing in a minute.)

For toys I skipped the cute nonsense and got her the soft aroma one, because Spencer has the gray version and loves it, so she got purple. The collars at the first store were all that stiff waterproof plasticky material, and I wanted something soft for a baby who has never worn anything around her neck, so I drove to a second pet store and found a pink one, a matching pink leash, and a little ID tag with her name on it that I very carefully kept out of frame.

Then the unglamorous half: puppy pads, puppy wipes, the soft dental chews for puppies under 15 pounds, and chicken training treats.

The thing I'm proudest of isn't really on the list. I'd been sleeping with her blanket for a while before pickup so it would smell like me and like the boys. That one felt like cheating in the best way.

Where I lost control (penguins were involved)

It was January and the stores already had their Valentine's stuff out. Dog hoodies. A hat for your dog that says Snoop Dogg and comes with braids attached. Backstreet Boys shirts for dogs, and an NSYNC one, and I stood there for an embarrassing amount of time wondering whether they made my size.

Then I turned a corner and found an entire wall of penguin toys. Me. The penguin queen. Already over budget.

I put them down. I walked away. I would like that noted somewhere permanent.

What I did leave with was a tiny strawberry outfit. I carried it around the whole store, couldn't decide, and finally asked the girl at the register which one she liked best. She said the strawberry was the most different, so that settled it, and that became Ellie's coming-home outfit.

Also my camera died on me that morning, so most of the day got filmed on my phone, by a person whose hands were shaking from too much energy drink before walking into a store full of things she wanted to buy. Great planning all around.

Crate training a puppy when your bedroom is already full

Back home I washed the bed and the toy (always wash the toys first) and then had a small crisis, because the bed suddenly looked way too big. When you're crate training a puppy you don't want extra room in there, or they'll use one end as a bathroom and sleep in the other. I was already planning the return trip.

Then I set it inside the crate and it fit perfectly, corner to corner, like I'd measured. I said "I'm a good dog mom" out loud, to nobody, while three animals ignored me.

Building the crate was easy. Installing the divider required me to climb inside the crate on my knees while my dogs watched. There is footage. I've made my peace with it.

The real problem was space. Kashi's crate is on one side of my room, Spencer's is now at the foot of my bed, and Ellie's enormous one went right next to me, close enough that I can reach the door from where I sleep. I can no longer see my TV from bed. Dog mom before aesthetic.

The day Ellie came home

I woke up at 5:15, snoozed, got up at 5:40, did my makeup at record speed and threw on an oversized sweater and leggings because I fully expected to be peed on in the car. I packed a bag with the leash, the collar that was comically too big for her, the name tag, pee pads and the strawberry outfit. I told the boys they were getting a sister. They were not moved.

The drive back was long, and she spent most of it looking at me with a "who exactly are you" face.

Then we got home and she just went for it. She met Spencer and Kashi, and Kashi was playing with her within the hour. She ate her first meal out of Spencer's old bowl, which practically swallowed her. She crawled around the yard sniffing every single thing, went for my jacket, chewed on my nails, had two accidents on the carpet, took a nap, woke up, played, and went straight down for another one.

Strawberry Ellie. The outfit is too big. The collar is too big. The bed is technically too big. There's a pattern here and the pattern is that I keep buying for the dog she's going to be instead of the one currently sleeping in my lap, and she'll catch up in about three weeks anyway.

If you're new here, the rest of the zoo lives in my about section, and yes, I'm aware that adding a dog every year is its own kind of pattern.

Do you have a puppy right now? Are you deep in potty training and just need somebody to tell you it gets better? Come tell me on Instagram or TikTok, and tell me what kind of dog you have. 🥰

The whole thing is on my YouTube if you want the messy version, both the shopping day and the day she came home.